Samuel Makes Friends

Part of 31 Plays in 31 Days.                        

            Samuel Makes Friends
            By Jacob Juntunen

(SAMUEL sits at a computer, not typing. MEL, a young woman, enters.)

            MEL
So write your play.

            SAMUEL
I don’t think I’m ready.

            MEL
It’s almost midnight.

            SAMUEL
I know, Mel, but I haven’t figured out any interesting twists, or—

            MEL
You’ve been thinking about it for years now—

            SAMUEL
I know, but this scene, I mean, this whole relationship eludes me, and you’re no help—

            MEL
This is my fault now?

            SAMUEL
Well, yeah, I’d say you share some of the blame—

            MEL
Who’s the playwright here?

            SAMUEL
And I’ve got to write something by midnight, and at this rate it’s going to be one of those crappy plays about not being able to write a play—

            MEL
So writing the actual scene you want to write will be worse than that?

            SAMUEL
I at least have a little twist for my “why can’t I write” play.

            MEL
Involving me? Is that why you’re calling me Mel?

            SAMUEL
Yeah.

            MEL

Pathetic. You really mean to tell me you don’t have enough inspiration to write about Didi? It’s even her birthday, you know.

            SAMUEL
She’s a character.

            MEL
Well you gave her today as her birthday, so—

            SAMUEL
I’ll do it tomorrow.

            MEL
After your seven hour faculty meeting?

            SAMUEL
Wednesday, then?

            MEL
You’re going to have to pound something out about Didi soon, submission deadlines are coming up—

            SAMUEL
I can always submit next year.

            MEL
Yup. You can always just write it next year, too. Just sit here, blame me, don’t write—

            SAMUEL
Just get off my back!

            MEL
You want me to go?

            SAMUEL
I didn’t say that.

            MEL
Cause I can go. If you don’t need your little “Mel.”

            SAMUEL

How am I going to write a tragedy without Melomene?

            MEL
You won’t.

            SAMUEL
So help?

            MEL
On some self-indulgent shitty why can’t I write, oh, boo hoo, play?

            SAMUEL
Sing, oh Muse, about the tragedy of Didi O’Connor—

            MEL
I am, but you’re too scared to listen. Call me when you’re actually ready.

(MEL leaves.)

            SAMUEL
Sorry, Didi. But happy birthday anyway.

Jacob is head of playwriting at Southern Illinois University, Carbondale. 
Read his full lengths here.

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