Saddam's Lions
by Jacob Juntunen
RASHIDA enters, extremely agitated, throwing on a
light jacket. She tries to shake off her mood and relax. She embraces the cold,
the solitude, the afternoon sun, and the trees. JON enters, also throwing on a
light jacket.
JON
I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Do you need something? A drink? More chicken teriyaki?
I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Do you need something? A drink? More chicken teriyaki?
RASHIDA
I might take a walk through the woods.
I might take a walk through the woods.
JON
Come on, you can’t skip out on your own homecoming party.
Come on, you can’t skip out on your own homecoming party.
RASHIDA
I told Mom I didn’t want a party.
I told Mom I didn’t want a party.
JON
Mom’s asking for you. Didn’t you love what she did when she saw you?
Mom’s asking for you. Didn’t you love what she did when she saw you?
RASHIDA
I guess.
I guess.
JON
She was like, jumping up and down and bawling, like: (JON imitates their mother) She didn’t act like that when she saw me.
She was like, jumping up and down and bawling, like: (JON imitates their mother) She didn’t act like that when she saw me.
RASHIDA
You’re one state away, not in a combat zone.
You’re one state away, not in a combat zone.
JON
Well, at Christmas, when you weren’t here, Mom was like, “Rashida’s not here. Grr.” Like actually saying, “Grr!” Joking, I guess, but, you know, cause she was sad. You sure I can’t get you something?
Well, at Christmas, when you weren’t here, Mom was like, “Rashida’s not here. Grr.” Like actually saying, “Grr!” Joking, I guess, but, you know, cause she was sad. You sure I can’t get you something?
RASHIDA
So how’s University of Chicago? You rich yet?
So how’s University of Chicago? You rich yet?
JON
I wish. I miss Milwaukee.
I wish. I miss Milwaukee.
RASHIDA
It’s your first year; you get used to being away from home.
It’s your first year; you get used to being away from home.
JON
Do you want to move to the front yard where there’s sun?
Do you want to move to the front yard where there’s sun?
RASHIDA
It’s nice finally seeing real trees.
It’s nice finally seeing real trees.
JON
Bagdhad didn’t have trees?
Bagdhad didn’t have trees?
RASHIDA
Not real ones. Coupland talked about missing these conifers, these oaks. We were in a kind of palace area, in a huge beautiful building right on the river, but half blown up, you know? So we made quarters in the rubble. And Baghdad’s sort of tropical with palm trees and stuff, but in the summer it would be like, probably 130something, 140, so it’s hot, and everything just turns brown, gets wilted and burnt up.
Not real ones. Coupland talked about missing these conifers, these oaks. We were in a kind of palace area, in a huge beautiful building right on the river, but half blown up, you know? So we made quarters in the rubble. And Baghdad’s sort of tropical with palm trees and stuff, but in the summer it would be like, probably 130something, 140, so it’s hot, and everything just turns brown, gets wilted and burnt up.
JON
140 degrees?
140 degrees?
RASHIDA
And you still have to keep on all your gear.
And you still have to keep on all your gear.
JON
Damn. Doesn’t spring here feel cold?
Damn. Doesn’t spring here feel cold?
RASHIDA
It feels good. Coupland and I used to talk about getting back here and sleeping in the woods, smelling the leaves, catching a cool breeze. The guys would sleep inside, but she and I would sleep on the roof, try to cool off in the wind, but it’s like someone blowing a hairdryer in your face, so it doesn’t really help.
It feels good. Coupland and I used to talk about getting back here and sleeping in the woods, smelling the leaves, catching a cool breeze. The guys would sleep inside, but she and I would sleep on the roof, try to cool off in the wind, but it’s like someone blowing a hairdryer in your face, so it doesn’t really help.
JON
You sure you don’t want more chicken teriyaki or something? You’re skinny.
You sure you don’t want more chicken teriyaki or something? You’re skinny.
RASHIDA
Yeah, nothing I left here fits me anymore.
Yeah, nothing I left here fits me anymore.
JON
I thought you’d build up muscle carrying that stuff around.
I thought you’d build up muscle carrying that stuff around.
RASHIDA
I lost weight cause I didn’t want to eat those freakin’ MREs.
I lost weight cause I didn’t want to eat those freakin’ MREs.
JON
That’s all you had?
That’s all you had?
RASHIDA
Sometimes we got Iraqi food, but yeah. Mostly MREs. Some had combos or pretzels, but they also had this meatloaf thing… or ravioli in a tube that you squeeze into your mouth. Ich.
Sometimes we got Iraqi food, but yeah. Mostly MREs. Some had combos or pretzels, but they also had this meatloaf thing… or ravioli in a tube that you squeeze into your mouth. Ich.
JON
So why aren’t you eating more of mom’s chicken teriyaki?
So why aren’t you eating more of mom’s chicken teriyaki?
RASHIDA
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
JON
You wrote about it all the time.
You wrote about it all the time.
RASHIDA
All we did was talk about food. I don’t know.
All we did was talk about food. I don’t know.
JON
What?
What?
RASHIDA
It’s just, like, I don’t know. It’s just chicken teriyaki.
It’s just, like, I don’t know. It’s just chicken teriyaki.
JON
Well, you need to put some of the weight back on. I bet none of your bras fit right, either!
Well, you need to put some of the weight back on. I bet none of your bras fit right, either!
RASHIDA
Shut up!
Shut up!
JON
Damn—and what did you do to your hair?
Damn—and what did you do to your hair?
RASHIDA
Everyone’s hair got messed up! The heat, sweat, stress, Kevlar. I’m going to see Tina tomorrow.
Everyone’s hair got messed up! The heat, sweat, stress, Kevlar. I’m going to see Tina tomorrow.
JON
I sent you all that relaxer and stuff.
I sent you all that relaxer and stuff.
RASHIDA
Yeah, and me and the two other black females in our company used it. Give it a rest.
Yeah, and me and the two other black females in our company used it. Give it a rest.
JON
Couldn’t you just put it in a pony tail or something?
Couldn’t you just put it in a pony tail or something?
RASHIDA
Why don’t you go back inside and see if mom needs help?
Why don’t you go back inside and see if mom needs help?
JON
What did the Iraqi women use?
What did the Iraqi women use?
RASHIDA
How many black Iraqi women do you think there were?
How many black Iraqi women do you think there were?
JON
Couldn’t you just go to an Iraqi store and see—?
Couldn’t you just go to an Iraqi store and see—?
RASHIDA
Okay, for one, I don’t speak to Iraqi women because I’m in full battle rattle and look like a dude, and they don’t come up to the humvees. And for two, they don’t have deoderant half the time, they don’t relax their hair, and I can’t go shopping!
Okay, for one, I don’t speak to Iraqi women because I’m in full battle rattle and look like a dude, and they don’t come up to the humvees. And for two, they don’t have deoderant half the time, they don’t relax their hair, and I can’t go shopping!
JON
Why couldn’t you go shopping?
Why couldn’t you go shopping?
RASHIDA
Like I’m going to get a squad of humvees just to go down the street to get hair products? What are you talking about?
Like I’m going to get a squad of humvees just to go down the street to get hair products? What are you talking about?
JON
Why do you need a squad of humvees to go out? You just said you got Iraqi food.
Why do you need a squad of humvees to go out? You just said you got Iraqi food.
RASHIDA
Yeah, if we were coming back from a mission or something—
Yeah, if we were coming back from a mission or something—
JON
Well, how am I supposed to know that?
Well, how am I supposed to know that?
RASHIDA
We couldn’t even drive down the street without maybe getting blown up, you know? Always swiveling, scanning, looking for IEDs, just these piles of garbage that’ll explode, but the thing is, there’s garbage everywhere, it’s like driving through a landfill, a third world country, you know, so, I mean, it’s kinda hard. I’m not going to just go get hair supplies.
We couldn’t even drive down the street without maybe getting blown up, you know? Always swiveling, scanning, looking for IEDs, just these piles of garbage that’ll explode, but the thing is, there’s garbage everywhere, it’s like driving through a landfill, a third world country, you know, so, I mean, it’s kinda hard. I’m not going to just go get hair supplies.
JON
Is that why you drove around the block this morning?
Is that why you drove around the block this morning?
RASHIDA
When?
When?
JON
On the way to Benji’s for breakfast, you, like, made a u-turn and went all the way around the block instead of parking in that space.
On the way to Benji’s for breakfast, you, like, made a u-turn and went all the way around the block instead of parking in that space.
RASHIDA
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
JON
Wasn’t there, like, a box or something by the spot?
Wasn’t there, like, a box or something by the spot?
RASHIDA
Who cares?
Who cares?
JON
I don’t know. It was just weird.
I don’t know. It was just weird.
RASHIDA
Yeah, there was a box. So what? I just didn’t like that spot.
Yeah, there was a box. So what? I just didn’t like that spot.
JON
Did you like eating at Benji’s this morning?
Did you like eating at Benji’s this morning?
RASHIDA
It was okay.
It was okay.
JON
I thought it was great. Man, you can’t get a breakfast like that in Chicago.
I thought it was great. Man, you can’t get a breakfast like that in Chicago.
RASHIDA
Coupland never had it. We were going to get it when we got back.
Coupland never had it. We were going to get it when we got back.
JON
Oh.
Oh.
RASHIDA
So, you know. It was all right. I’m sweating. Are you hot?
So, you know. It was all right. I’m sweating. Are you hot?
JON
It’s pretty chilly out, still. Do you want want to go in and—
It’s pretty chilly out, still. Do you want want to go in and—
RASHIDA
What are they doing in there?
What are they doing in there?
JON
Looking at your pictures.
Looking at your pictures.
RASHIDA
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
JON
There’s, like, one of you and Coupland in bikinis.
There’s, like, one of you and Coupland in bikinis.
RASHIDA
That was after we got the haji’s—uh, Iraqis—to clean up the palace pool. Pool day! Man, that was awesome. We had that pool for months. And you all laughed when I packed that bikini, you were like, “It’s the desert” and I was like, “You never know.” All the other girls had to wear t-shirts, except Coupland. She brought a bikini, too. We were the only ones. I can’t believe we didn’t meet until we got there. Drilling together for years, but.
That was after we got the haji’s—uh, Iraqis—to clean up the palace pool. Pool day! Man, that was awesome. We had that pool for months. And you all laughed when I packed that bikini, you were like, “It’s the desert” and I was like, “You never know.” All the other girls had to wear t-shirts, except Coupland. She brought a bikini, too. We were the only ones. I can’t believe we didn’t meet until we got there. Drilling together for years, but.
JON
Just how the national guard is, I guess. It’ll be different when you’re a cop.
Just how the national guard is, I guess. It’ll be different when you’re a cop.
RASHIDA
I had enough being an MP.
I had enough being an MP.
JON
I thought the whole reason you joined was to get the police training?
I thought the whole reason you joined was to get the police training?
RASHIDA
Is Coupland’s mom still in there?
Is Coupland’s mom still in there?
JON
Yeah.
Yeah.
RASHIDA
Is she coming out to dinner with us, too?
Is she coming out to dinner with us, too?
JON
I guess.
I guess.
(pause)
JON
Hey, what’s the deal with the lions?
Hey, what’s the deal with the lions?
RASHIDA
What lions?
What lions?
JON
In your pictures.
In your pictures.
RASHIDA
Oh, they’re just Saddam’s lions.
Oh, they’re just Saddam’s lions.
JON
What do you mean, “they’re just Saddam’s lions”?
What do you mean, “they’re just Saddam’s lions”?
RASHIDA
Oh… (laughing) It’s not funny, but those are the lions that Saddam fed people to.
Oh… (laughing) It’s not funny, but those are the lions that Saddam fed people to.
JON
What?
What?
RASHIDA
Yeah, (laughing) it’s not funny, but he killed people with those lions—
Yeah, (laughing) it’s not funny, but he killed people with those lions—
JON
(laughing) That’s not funny.
(laughing) That’s not funny.
RASHIDA
And we were like, “What are we supposed to do with these?” Nobody knew. So we just kept them, and they were just like behind a chain link fence. You know, a high one, but it wasn’t secure, and— It was so funny: there was this sign, I should of took a picture, this sign said, “Please don’t feed the lions. Don’t throw over MREs, garbage, food… dogs, cats!” (laughs) So you know people did it. There were lots of stray dogs and cats and some stupid soldier would just pick one up and watch the lions tear it apart. (laughs) It’s not funny. Coupland got scratched by a lion.
And we were like, “What are we supposed to do with these?” Nobody knew. So we just kept them, and they were just like behind a chain link fence. You know, a high one, but it wasn’t secure, and— It was so funny: there was this sign, I should of took a picture, this sign said, “Please don’t feed the lions. Don’t throw over MREs, garbage, food… dogs, cats!” (laughs) So you know people did it. There were lots of stray dogs and cats and some stupid soldier would just pick one up and watch the lions tear it apart. (laughs) It’s not funny. Coupland got scratched by a lion.
JON
(laughing) What kind of shit is that? My friend got scratched by a lion?
(laughing) What kind of shit is that? My friend got scratched by a lion?
RASHIDA
It was a small one.
It was a small one.
JON
Oh, it was a small one.
Oh, it was a small one.
RASHIDA
I have a picture of her somewhere with her face like she’s pretending to be afraid, you know, like: (mugging fake fear for the camera), because the lion’s right behind her— and then she for real got scratched!
I have a picture of her somewhere with her face like she’s pretending to be afraid, you know, like: (mugging fake fear for the camera), because the lion’s right behind her— and then she for real got scratched!
JON
It’s a lion! Leave it alone!
It’s a lion! Leave it alone!
RASHIDA
She didn’t think it could fit its paw through the chain link fence.
She didn’t think it could fit its paw through the chain link fence.
JON
There was also, uh, this picture of a car, the inside of a car, and the car was kinda messed up, there were like specks of something, like, I think we were looking at, I don’t know. What was that?
There was also, uh, this picture of a car, the inside of a car, and the car was kinda messed up, there were like specks of something, like, I think we were looking at, I don’t know. What was that?
RASHIDA
That was my picture?
That was my picture?
JON
It’s not my picture.
It’s not my picture.
RASHIDA
I don’t think I took it.
I don’t think I took it.
JON
I don’t know, it was with—
I don’t know, it was with—
RASHIDA
Guys would borrow the camera, you know? Get shots of different gruesome, disgusting things, “cool stuff,” “must of blew through a checkpoint,” so I might have some of that, but…
Guys would borrow the camera, you know? Get shots of different gruesome, disgusting things, “cool stuff,” “must of blew through a checkpoint,” so I might have some of that, but…
(pause)
JON
Don’t tell Mom that guys fed dogs to the lions.
Don’t tell Mom that guys fed dogs to the lions.
RASHIDA
What were we supposed to do for those lions, you know? Just let them go? Take care of them? How could we help them? Like, what was the point? I think for me, just not knowing the point was… you know? We had these lions, but they were getting annoyed with us and we were getting annoyed by them. So I don’t know why we were still there. And I don’t know what to say to Coupland’s mom.
What were we supposed to do for those lions, you know? Just let them go? Take care of them? How could we help them? Like, what was the point? I think for me, just not knowing the point was… you know? We had these lions, but they were getting annoyed with us and we were getting annoyed by them. So I don’t know why we were still there. And I don’t know what to say to Coupland’s mom.
JON
I’ve been thinking about taking this semester off school and coming home.
I’ve been thinking about taking this semester off school and coming home.
RASHIDA
Why?
Why?
JON
To be with you.
To be with you.
RASHIDA
Why would you do that?
Why would you do that?
JON
I don’t know. You come home all skinny and just spend all this time up in your room alone, don’t even want to talk to Mom, and maybe you got messed up—
I don’t know. You come home all skinny and just spend all this time up in your room alone, don’t even want to talk to Mom, and maybe you got messed up—
RASHIDA
I’m fine.
I’m fine.
JON
I thought maybe when you guys got attacked and Coupland—
I thought maybe when you guys got attacked and Coupland—
RASHIDA
I was in my rack when that happened! Asleep! The BC pounded on the door until someone let him in and he was like, “We lost someone.” And I’m thinking somebody’s lost in Bagdhad, like maybe their vehicle drove off without them, and I’m like, “That’s messed up! We gotta go find them!” Shit.
I was in my rack when that happened! Asleep! The BC pounded on the door until someone let him in and he was like, “We lost someone.” And I’m thinking somebody’s lost in Bagdhad, like maybe their vehicle drove off without them, and I’m like, “That’s messed up! We gotta go find them!” Shit.
JON
But I could take a semseter off, just spend—
But I could take a semseter off, just spend—
RASHIDA
No, look, I just want to go back to school. Get back into routine. No welcome home parties. No ceremonies. Maybe that’s good for some people, but I just want things to be normal. That means you in Chicago. So don’t even—
No, look, I just want to go back to school. Get back into routine. No welcome home parties. No ceremonies. Maybe that’s good for some people, but I just want things to be normal. That means you in Chicago. So don’t even—
JON
Okay, I get it.
Okay, I get it.
RASHIDA
If you even think about—
If you even think about—
JON
I said I get it.
I said I get it.
RASHIDA
Sorry, I—
Sorry, I—
JON
You just want to be out here with the real trees.
You just want to be out here with the real trees.
RASHIDA
And go back to school on Monday, and not get annoyed when people complain about their crappy cell phones, or the dirty bathrooms— At least you have a phone. At least there is a bathroom.
And go back to school on Monday, and not get annoyed when people complain about their crappy cell phones, or the dirty bathrooms— At least you have a phone. At least there is a bathroom.
(pause)
JON
You sure you’re okay out here?
You sure you’re okay out here?
RASHIDA
The breeze feels great.
The breeze feels great.
JON
I guess I should get back inside, then.
I guess I should get back inside, then.
RASHIDA
Tell them I’ll be inside in a little bit.
Tell them I’ll be inside in a little bit.
JON
Okay.
Okay.
(JON exits. RASHIDA looks at the trees)
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