The Industry
by Jacob Juntunen
(RACHEL is in a dress and on a table; ROBERT seems to be having sex with her, more excited than she is. ANDRE enters.)
ANDRE
No, no, no. Cut. Try to show a little enthusiasm, dear. Imagine you’re having sex with a king. If you want to be in this industry—
RACHEL
I just think if I’m the queen, maybe I’m a little less compromised—
ANDRE
You think queens don’t fuck? Believe me, queens fuck. Imagine whatever you need, draw from whatever experience you want. But you’re going to need to take off your dress.
RACHEL
Wait, let’s try it again with the dress, I’m sure I can generate the proper—
ANDRE
No, we need to really get them right into it. Bam! So take it off and let’s try again— You good Robert?
ROBERT
Yeah.
RACHEL
What about him?
ANDRE
What about him?
RACHEL
Shouldn’t he take off more?
ANDRE
Robert, open your fly, you’ll be in her right at the top—
RACHEL
Just his fly?
ANDRE
People aren’t paying to see him, dear.
RACHEL
You don’t know that.
ANDRE
Do you want to be in the industry?
RACHEL
I’m here, aren’t I? Bussing tables, taking as many classes as I can—
ANDRE
Then listen to me. And take off your dress.
RACHEL
What about less is more? The mind is the biggest erogenous—
ANDRE
Do you not understand the concept?
RACHEL
No, I get what you’re going for, and it’s brilliant, really, but I just think maybe if the dress is on, people’s imaginations—
ANDRE
They’re not paying for imagination. All right?
RACHEL
But what if I just hike up my skirt? And maybe pull the top down some—
ROBERT
I could fondle her?
RACHEL
Um. Okay, sure, he could fondle me, I guess—
ANDRE
I really sense you’re not understanding the concept here.
RACHEL
You want the audience to be hit with Claudius fucking Gertrude, really going at it, then for me to hide under his desk when Hamlet and the rest of the court come in. So Claudius gives his big welcome speech to Hamlet with me hiding under his desk, to create this hypocrisy, I get it, okay, but why do I have to be naked?
ANDRE
There are plenty of students here who would like to play Gertrude. If you want to be in the industry and you can’t even deal with the requirements of a student play—
RACHEL
I’m not busting my ass to pay for college to not take a good part—
ANDRE
Then take off your dress. Do you think any professional actress would even hesitate?
RACHEL
I’d rather play Claudius.
ROBERT
Uh, that’s me.
ANDRE
You can do gender-bending, queer stuff in grad school, but right now you need to learn the classics. You had a great audition. Should I call my second choice?
RACHEL
My underwear stays on?
ANDRE
Unfortunately. It is a college production, but if we were really in the industry—
RACHEL
Fine. Let’s get classically trained.
(RACHEL starts to take off her dress; blackout)
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