by Jacob Juntunen
(LINDA, BEN, and SARAH sit, eating.)
BEN
You can’t even keep the soup warm until we eat?
LINDA
You were on the internet for twenty minutes after I said dinner was ready.
BEN
That’s called work, Linda.
LINDA
You’ve gone pro at Fantasy Football?
BEN
I swear I don’t know why we even live together, I could send you a check every month and you’d be just as happy—
LINDA
Well I wouldn’t have to watch dinner getting cold every night—
SARAH
Oh, you two don’t mean it, don’t fight.
I need to write my college essay,
See if there’s a bright
Idea in my head. It’s due today.
(SARAH starts to leave)
LINDA
(to BEN) Every time I call you to dinner you’re online and we sit here waiting—
BEN
I have a real job, okay, and the e-mails don’t just stop at five—
LINDA
My cooking blog is making more money than—
BEN
It won’t be when I make partner, so I need to get this brief written, or maybe I should just go back to the office—
LINDA
Or the bar.
(BEN starts to leave, but SARAH returns to the table and they both sit as she speaks)
SARAH
I forgot to say,
I got first place at the science fair today.
LINDA
Oh! That will put Elise in her place! I’m so tired of hearing about her daughter.
BEN
I knew hiring that tutor wouldn’t be a waste.
LINDA
I helped Sarah glue all those charts to the poster board while you were working late.
BEN
I showed her Excel to make the charts.
SARAH
You both were both so great.
You have to
know how much I appreciate
you two.
BEN
We do make a good team.
LINDA
We made something pretty amazing.
SARAH
Well, I need to write
My essay and e-mail it there
By midnight tonight
Or not get in anywhere.
(SARAH starts to leave)
BEN
I’m going to back to the office, to finish up that brief—
LINDA
Do the dishes first, I cooked.
BEN
It was soup. Rinse out the bowls and put them in the dishwasher. This goes to trial in—
LINDA
Soup’s a very popular recipe on my blog. People say they can’t even tell it doesn’t have meat—
BEN
Why don’t you cook a real dinner sometime, something where an animal died?
(BEN starts to get up; SARAH returns to the table, and they both sit as she speaks)
SARAH
Oh, now that we’ve ate,
did I say
I got a firm date
for my SAT?
It’s two days from now,
But I’m ready anyhow.
BEN
The Kaplan classes are good, but maybe we should get some computer practice tests?
LINDA
I could pick those up tomorrow on my way home from work.
SARAH
I have these vocab flash cards.
Could you two help me?
I feel like such a retard,
But I don’t want to be—
LINDA
Your Dad’s got some stupid brief he needs to get written tonight, so—
BEN
Get out the cards. We’ll go over them together.
(They all sit at the table and SARAH starts to hand out the cards)
SARAH
Hey, do you two
Remember Wednesday family date
night? We played Uno.
College will have to wait.
Read full lengths by Jacob Juntunen here!
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