Kiss Daniel for Me

                                                            Kiss Daniel for Me
                                                            By Jacob Juntunen

Two African American women sit.
AUGUSTA writes in a leather-bound book.

                                                            RACHELLA
Do you know what we got to do to see the governor?

                                                            AUGUSTA
The Warden gave me this letter of introduction. Didn’t you get one?

                                                            RACHELLA
He gave me this here piece of paper, but I ain’t sure exactly what it says…

                                                            AUGUSTA
It’s in plain English, isn’t it?

                                                            RACHELLA
I don’t know, it’s… Well… What you writing there?

                                                            AUGUSTA
A letter to the governor asking him not to sell my son. We’ve been Emancipated, haven’t we?

                                                            RACHELLA
Why you writing a letter if we’re going to see the Governor in person?

                                                            AUGUSTA
The Governor of Illinois might not have time for the likes of us.

                                                            RACHELLA
But the Warden said to come here.

                                                            AUGUSTA
Because the Warden didn’t have time for the likes of us.

                                                            RACHELLA
Can you help me write a letter if he won’t see me? They got my man locked up, but he didn’t do nothing. Today’s his hearing. You’ve got such a good way of speaking.

AUGUSTA continues writing.

                                                            RACHELLA (cont)

Where you from?

                                                            AUGUSTA
Chicago.

                                                            RACHELLA
And you come all the way down here?

                                                            AUGUSTA
I got to try to stop my son being sold, don’t I? Get him closer to home somehow? It’s bad enough he’s all the way down here, I can’t have him sold to another state.

                                                            RACHELLA
They say my man was drunk and disorderly, but—

JACKSON enters.

                                                            JACKSON
Ladies, I’m the Governor’s secretary and he wants to let you know his schedule is full for—

                                                            AUGUSTA
I’m not going to let you sell my boy.

                                                            JACKSON
No one is going to—

                                                            RACHELLA
Will you at least take letters from us?

                                                            JACKSON

The Governor is quite—

                                                            RACHELLA
Ask him. Ask him if he ain’t got time to read some letters from a grieving mother and wife.

                                                            JACKSON
The Governor has an appointment—

                                                            AUGUSTA
So this letter of introduction from the Warden is just a scam to waste our time—

                                                            RACHELLA
I thought the Governor was a man of honor? He ain’t going to leave damsels in distress, is he?

                                                            JACKSON
There are many people who need the Governor’s time, and he can’t see all of—

                                                            RACHELLA
He ain’t a monster, is he?

                                                            JACKSON
Of course not, but—

                                                            RACHELLA
So go ask him if he’s got time to read our letters.

A moment.

                                                            JACKSON
I’m not making any promises.

JACKSON exits.

                                                            AUGUSTA
That was real fine.

                                                            RACHELLA
They hate having their honor poked at. Maybe you could help me with that letter?

                                                            AUGUSTA
Mine’s just about done. Why don’t you talk it out a little with me, tell me what you want to say, while I finish writing mine? Then we’ll see if I’ve got time to help you with yours.

AUGUSTA goes back to writing.

                                                            RACHELLA
Oh. Okay. It should say something like, “Dear John, Everything is fine here. Don’t you worry about a thing. We’re going to get you out of there. We’re taking up a collection in the neighborhood to hire you a good lawyer. We got a lot of support from the Church already. We all know you ain’t drunk or disorderly. We going to prove it. I don’t know if you see our boy in there or not. I ain’t got no word from him or you. And don’t get mean like him, don’t forget to call me. I ain’t able to go years without hearing from you, too. And if you see our dear little boy in lockup with you, kiss Daniel for me.”

A moment.

                                                            AUGUSTA
I thought you were going to write the Governor?

                                                            RACHELLA
Shoot. I was, I just... We been waiting for my man’s hearing for months, and I ain’t been able to write—

JACKSON enters.

                                                            JACKSON
Ladies, the Governor has instructed me to take your letters to him.

                                                            AUGUSTA
No! We need to see him! You can’t sell my boy to another state out West! He’s already so far—

                                                            JACKSON
Transferring your son to a penitentiary in Denver is hardly selling—

                                                            AUGUSTA
Then why do you bounce him around, make me and his father drive like truckers just to visit—

                                                            JACKSON
He is a federal prisoner, so his transfer is—

                                                            AUGUSTA
Illinois already sold him down the river, and now you’re going to pack him in a truck to Denver? Like he’s some FedEx package? Even if he was carrying marijuana, like you say, that ain’t enough to—

                                                            JACKSON
Perhaps call again tomorrow, maybe the Governor will have more time to—

                                                            AUGUSTA
You’re selling my boy to Denver tonight! Tomorrow’s too late!

                                                            RACHELLA
My man’s hearing is today—

                                                            JACKSON
Well, if that will be all, I’ll take my leave of you ladies—

                                                            RACHELLA
Wait, you ain’t got our letters! We just want our boys home. Don’t you got a wife? Children? Don’t you got no sympathy?

                                                            JACKSON
Fine. Give them over, but then you leave this office.

                                                            AUGUSTA
I just gave her a piece of paper, give us five minutes—

                                                            JACKSON
This is ridiculous— Do you have yours? I’ll take yours if it’s ready.

                                                            AUGUSTA
But she just needs a little help—

                                                            JACKSON
The Governor has a benefit to attend. He’s leaving now. Give me what you’ve got.

                                                            RACHELLA
Go ahead, give him your letter.

                                                            AUGUSTA
But I didn’t write down your—

                                                            RACHELLA
There ain’t no point in him not hearing from either of us. Give him your letter.

AUGUSTA hands JACKSON her letter. JACKSON leaves without a word. Blackout.

Jacob is head of playwriting at Southern Illinois University, Carbondale.
Read his full lengths here.

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Singing for my Grandfather

                                                            Singing for my Grandfather
                                                            By Jacob Juntunen

DANIEL is struggling to get out of MICHAEL’s headlock.

                                                            DANIEL
(US accent) No, no, no, no, no!

                                                            MICHAEL
(Scottish accent) That was fifty fucking pence, you idiot!

DANIEL gets out of the headlock.

                                                            DANIEL
No one’s singing that damn song while I’m here!

                                                            MICHAEL
You fucking Americans come here during the Festival and think—

                                                            DANIEL
I’m not here for the fucking Festival.

                                                            MICHAEL
So go to your hotel’s bar and—

                                                            DANIEL
I’m not staying at a hotel.

                                                            MICHAEL
That was fifty pence in the jukebox, something everyone could sing—

                                                            DANIEL
No one’s singing “Danny Boy” while I’m here.

                                                            MICHAEL
Unless you’re unconscious.

                                                            DANIEL
I don’t want any trouble.

                                                            MICHAEL
Then you shouldn’t have unplugged the damn jukebox while everyone was—

                                                            DANIEL
I just wanna finish my beer in peace—

                                                            MICHAEL
You’re not sitting at that bar unless you sing with us and give me back fifty p—

                                                            DANIEL
(throwing it at him) Here’s your fucking money!

                                                            MICHAEL
Everyone was enjoying “Danny Boy” before you—

                                                            DANIEL
I just don’t want to sing that song, all right? Play something else and let me have my beer—

                                                            MICHAEL
You fucking Americans come here, come into our bars, and don’t even know how to have a good time.

                                                            DANIEL
My grandfather took me to all kinds of bars—

                                                            MICHAEL
I’m not talking about your fucking American bars where nobody sings anything—

                                                            DANIEL
My grandfather’s Scottish, you asshole.

                                                            MICHAEL
Did he lose all his fun when he went to America, then?

                                                            DANIEL
He never went to America. I’m here for the funeral. He used to come here.

                                                            MICHAEL
Oh, fuck. You’re not Moe’s grandkid, are you?

                                                            DANIEL
Daniel Douglass, in the flesh. He used to bring me here when I was a little kid, before Dad moved us to the States.

                                                            MICHAEL
Let me buy you a drink, Danny Boy—

                                                            DANIEL
Don’t call me that. Only grandpa called me that.

                                                            MICHAEL
What’ll you have?

                                                            DANIEL
A pint of anything. Doesn’t matter. I just want to sit here in Grandpa’s bar and have a beer to remember him.

                                                            MICHAEL
One pint, coming up.

(MICHAEL exits)

                                                            DANIEL
(sings under his breath) Oh Danny Boy, the pipes the pipes are calling…

Jacob is head of playwriting at Southern Illinois University, Carbondale. 
Read his full lengths here.

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