photo by Joe Mazza and Brave Lux

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Dining Hall

                                                           
                                                            Dining Hall
                                                            By Jacob Juntunen
Characters:
WOMAN 1: A woman in her 20s.
MAN 1: A man in his 20s.
MAN 2: A man in his 20s.
WOMAN 2: A woman in her 20s.
WOMAN 3: A woman in her 20s.
WOMAN 4: A woman in her 20s.
LAWRENCE: A man in his 20s.

Setting:
Woman 1 is alone. Woman 4, Woman 3 and Woman 2 are together. Lawrence is alone. Man 1 and Man 2 are offstage.

                                                            WOMAN 1
(to the audience) I mean, it’s not as bad as high school, but I don’t know if I can stay here for years. Look around the dining hall.

                                                            WOMAN 4
(referring to LAWRENCE) Who’s the new guy?

                                                            WOMAN 2
I think he transferred in.

                                                            WOMAN 3
I should show him around.

                                                            WOMAN 4
Um, I saw him first?

                                                            WOMAN 1
(to audience) Same cliques as high school. Same mean girls.

                                                            WOMAN 3
It doesn’t matter who saw him first. It matters who sees him last. Tonight. Just before the lights get turned out.

                                                            WOMAN 4
Eat your lunch.

                                                            WOMAN 1
But it’s not like I can just leave. I’d be such a disappointment! They helped me with my application; they’re spending so much money to pay my bills; and they’re so happy I’m here. But they’re visiting today before lunch is over, so I’ll have to tell them: I want to leave. Oh, no.

(MAN 1 and MAN 2 enter.)

                                                            WOMAN 1 (cont)
These two finally came out and need all of us to know.

                                                            MAN 1
Hello ladies.
                                                            MAN 2
Hi.

                                                            WOMAN 2
I think there’s an empty table over there.

                                                            MAN 1
We don’t need to sit.

                                                            MAN 2
We’re just getting some food to go.

                                                            MAN 1
Things to do in the room. You know.

                                                            WOMAN 4
Gross.

                                                            WOMAN 3
So just go get your meatloaf and leave.

(MAN 1 and MAN 2 go stand in line.)

                                                            WOMAN 1
I can’t handle all these conservative politics. But I don’t want to hear about people making discoveries about their sexuality, either. I just want to eat lunch. All these people forced together that don’t have anything in common except that we’re here. It should make us more tolerant, I guess, except that we’re all too old, too set in our ways by now.

                                                            WOMAN 4
I need to go talk to a real man after that.

                                                            WOMAN 2
No, no, no—

(WOMAN 4 gets up and walks to LAWRENCE; WOMAN 3 and WOMAN 2 scurry behind WOMAN 4.)

                                                            WOMAN 4
Hey.

                                                            LAWRENCE
Hey.

                                                            WOMAN 4
What’s your name?

                                                            LAWRENCE
Lawrence.

                                                            WOMAN 4
I got a care package in the mail today. Wanna come back to my room after lunch and check it out?

                                                            WOMAN 3
Or I could show you around. There’s a pretty fountain near the gym.

                                                            WOMAN 2
My room doesn’t have a real kitchen, but the commons has a stove. I could bake you a cake…

                                                            LAWRENCE
Ladies, ladies. There’s enough of Lawrence to go around.

                                                            WOMAN 1
I just can’t handle this. We worked so hard to get me in. I was on the waitlist, then a slot opened, and they were able to pay for it somehow. But I’m going to have to tell them: the morals here are too loose, the people too gross. I need to live somewhere else. Lunch is almost over. They’ll be here soon.

(MAN 1 and MAN 2 move to the women and LAWRENCE.)

                                                            MAN 1
Why don’t you come to our room and give something completely new a try?

                                                            WOMAN 4
Gross.

                                                            MAN 2
I never thought I’d be with a guy before I met him. He’s amazing.

                                                            LAWRENCE
Why don’t we all just have some lunch?

                                                            MAN 2
Lunch is almost over.

                                                            MAN 1
My room’s number 3042 if you want to join us. We snuck in some whiskey, even with my heart condition. Just knock three times.

(MAN 1 and MAN 2 exit.)

                                                            WOMAN 3
Forget them. Come for a walk with us instead.

                                                            LAWRENCE
Well, it would have to be a slow one. I lost one of my legs to diabetes a few years back.

                                                            WOMAN 4
Oh.

                                                            WOMAN 2
That’s fine.

                                                            WOMAN 3
Yeah, that’s no problem. Physical therapy here’s the best. Let’s show you the fountain.

(They leave.)


                                                            WOMAN 1
Okay, it’s better than high school. But there’s nothing here for me. I just wait for my kids to call or visit. Every morning I look in the mirror expecting to see a twenty year old, but the wrinkles and gray hair staring back fuck that up. I bet everyone here thinks they look twenty, even if our kids have deposited us here to die. But my kids are going to visit today. And I’m going to tell them sorry for wasting their time and money, but I can’t stay here. That I need to live with them. To see my grandchildren everyday. I took my mother in when she got to be my age. So I don’t deserve to be all alone here. Right? I’ll tell them today. They said they’d be here before lunch is over. They’ll be here. They’ll definitely be here. Any minute now. And they’ll take me home.